Fanboy Comments! - The Fanboy Comics Newsletter

Time: 4:00 PM
Entry Cost: $25.00
What You Get For Your Money: 6 Packs of World of Warcraft cards, which you then use to build a deck.

What You Can Get if You Win

1st Prize: Sealed Box of World of Warcraft TCG Cards, plus a rare artist proof card signed by artist Tom Fleming!
2nd Prize: Onyxia's Lair Raid Deck

Minimum 6 Players

What an Artist Proof Card Is: It's an extremely rare card with a blank back given only to the artist of the card in extremely limited quantities. It looks like this:

those bastards at upper deck cut out the hot night elf chick. have they ever been on a world of warcraft forum?

I rescind my earlier retraction in light of the fact that World of Warcraft sucks

Featuring FREE FIRST FRIDAYS: Free tournaments on the first Friday of every month! For every player who shows up, we throw a booster into the pot, winner take all! We also run Constructed Tournaments, Raid Deck Tournaments, and Open Play, featuring great prize support like rare cards, playmats, extended art, tresure/loot packs, signed artist proofs, movie tickets, and more!

avast ye! wait what the heck does that even have to do with warhammer

The season ends on April 2nd, so there's still a weeks to get in some games and maybe win that battalion box!

Also, we have a free 2000 point swiss Warhammer Fantasy tournament on Saturday, March 24th, with a battalion box as first prize, and a $25 gift certificate as second prize, provided we get at least six participants. So bring your friends, and destroy them! Registration begins at 11:00 AM, and the tournament proper begins at Noon, so don't be late. There's no entry fee, so the worst you can do is play some games of Warhammer. The tournament is swiss style, so you're guaranteed to play several games of Warhammer--no one and done here.

Looking to finish up your models before the tournament? Maybe this coupon will interest you:

presumably glue or something was used in making these models

we are proud and loud

Fanboy Comics will be providing door prizes for many of the events, free comics for the superhero breakfast, and costumed superhero appearances! For more information, visit http://www.cucalorus.org/blog/.

Miss getting the first printing of the death of Captain America? Well, fear not, for the second printing is on its way and coming on March 28th. You'll definitely want to read this issue, and to get an idea of how the rest of the Marvel Universe is dealing with this momentous event, check out some of the great titles including Fallen Son and Civil War: The Confession! You should also definitely follow the continuing story being masterfully crafted by Ed Brubaker in the rest of his "Death of a Dream" story arc running through the series.

what do you get when you cross a student with a discount? answer - i don't have a punchline to this joke

WARNING: YOU COULD SAVE WAY TOO MUCH MONEY IF YOU TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THESE DISCOUNTS

IRESATIRESATIRESATIRESATIRESA Army@Love #1

Coming from Rick Veitch, the man behind, uh...(checks Wikipedia article)...uh, a bunch of indie stuff I haven't read and the illustration of a few issues of Swamp Thing, this new series, uh, where, "Comedy collides head on with tragedy when a New Jersey National Guard unit is deployed indefinitely to a never-ending series of wars in the Middle East. These are citizen soldiers - kids fresh out of high school shoulder-to-shoulder with middle-aged corporate manager. To motivate them, a modernized military has gone into full, take-no-prisoners marketing mode." Sounds like fun! Maybe!

this is the second and less offensive of my alt texts Amazing Spider-Man #539

Spidey's back in black, and it all begins here! At least, it probably would have if Civil War #7 hadn't been delayed so late the book couldn't come out in February after they had put a "Back in Black: 02.2007" symbol on every single one of their comic books for a month leading up to it so they had to publish some other Spider-Man books so they didn't look like idiots. Anyway, this issue ushers in a newer, darker, more guilt-ridden and grief-filled Peter Parker, who dons his black costume to symbolize that the movie Spider-Man 3 will be in theaters soon!

i kind of hope the whole thing is about the senseless death of typeface Civil War: Battle Damage Report

Now that Civil War is over, the question we've been asking for ages can be answered: which minor characters were killed off-camera during Civil War? The answers may surprise you, if only in the sense that you will be surprised that a particular character hadn't been killed earlier. Let's get ready to read a whole bunch of text!

he talks to fish, generally because they are lonely and just need a friend Aquaman: Sword of Atlantis #50

I have no time or creativity to waste on Aquaman. Read this, instead: "Acclaimed fantasy novelist Tad Williams (THE NEXT, The Dragonbone Chair) begins his stint as the new chronicler of the adventures of the young man who would be King of the Sea! Joined by the new art team of Shawn McManus (THE SANDMAN, SHADOWPACT) & Walden Wong (THE CREEPER, THE NEXT), a new horizon beckons for Aquaman, as new challenges await and new characters from this undersea world are introduced. It all begins here, in this extra-sized 50th issue extravaganza!" Sounds great, huh?!

i'm pretty sure the leviathan throws off any sense of scale

NEW Player's Choice Tournaments! The players can choose one of the following tournaments:

Booster Draft - $13 Entry
How a Booster Draft Works: Each player gets three packs, and all players sit around a table in a circle. Each player opens a pack, selects a card from it, and then passes the remaining cards to the player next to him, who in turn selects a card and passes the remaining on to the next player. After all the cards have been drafted, each player makes a deck from the cards he has and plays in a single-elimination tournament where the winner gets about 1.5 packs per participant!

Type I or II Constructed - $5 Entry
Type I Format (Vintage) - All cards are legal, excepting certain cards that are banned (not permitted) or restricted (limited to one per deck). The banned and restricted lists for Type I are available on Wizards of the Coast’s website at www.wizards.com.
Type II Format (Standard) - Only the most recent core set and two most recent blocks are legal.
First Prize - $50.00 Store Credit
Second Prize - $20.00 Store Credit

What Is DCI Sanctioning?
DCI Sanctioning is a program set up by Wizards of the Coast to record match results and provide support for the Magic: The Gathering playerbase. Participants in DCI Events will be given national ratings and be eligible for special offers from Wizards of the Coast. DCI Sanctioning also supplies the venue with rare foil promotional cards for players. Like, for example, this one:

(something about osteoperosis)

World of Warcraft TCG: Through the Dark Portal
   Boosters: $3.89 each
   Box of 24 Boosters: $89.99 - $75.00 If Preordered By April 1st! ($25.00 Deposit Required)
   Starter Deck: $14.99 - $10.00 If Preordered by April 1st! ($5.00 Deposit Required)
    Release Date: April 11th

Yu-Gi-Oh: Zane Truesdale Duelist Pack
   Boosters: $2.10 each
   Box of 30 Boosters: $69.99 - $49.00 If Preordered By April 23rd! ($25.00 Deposit Required)
   Release Date: Late April

Magic: The Gathering: Future Sight
   Boosters: $3.99 each
   Box of 36 Boosters: $107.00 - $92.00 If Preordered By April 30th! ($25.00 Deposit Required)
   Theme Decks: $12.99 each - Set of 4 for $39.00 if Preordered by April 30th! ($15.00 Deposit Required)
   Fat Packs: $35.00 each - $27.50 If Preordered by April 30th! ($10.00 Deposit Required)
    Release Date: May 4th

remember this nightmare

Join us at Fanboy Comics for our expanded Free Comic Book weekend at both Fanboy Comics and Mayfaire Cinemas for Spider-Man 3! More information to come soon; if your school or organization would like to get free comics to give away, please contact us as soon as possible as we only have a limited amount. Either call us at (910) 452-7828, or email us at fanboycomics@bellsouth.net. It is vital that you contact us!

And now, as a service to the community: The Editor Reviews a Free Comic Book Day Title Based Entirely On the Cover, Diamond's Summary, and Whatever is Wikipedia's Featured Article of the Day!

This Week: The Astounding Wolf-Man and Final Fantasy VII:

Diamond's Summary: When Gary Hampton is mauled and left for dead -- his life takes a drastic turn. Gary is cursed -- when the moon is full he transforms into a beast of the night -- a werewolf! But this curse will not be used for evil -- witness the birth of the world's most unlikely new superhero -- The Astounding Wolf-Man! Don't miss Robert (Invincible, The Walking Dead) Kirkman's new series from Image Comics! It all starts right here for FREE!

robert kirkman's startling, uncompromising vision of a grim future where this guy is a wolf What is it, exactly, that makes this Wolf-Man so astounding? I'm guessing that it's because he's one of the insane, borderline-autistic people who got all of the materia and beat all of the weapons and even levelled up their Knights of the Round summon so each knight deals 9999 damage. (sup Nick) What could drive this feral combination of man and beast to play and replay the mind-numbingly boring fights over and over again? I'm guessing loneliness. What I'm trying to say here is that Final Fantasy VII sucks. Hopefully, this free comic book won't! Even if it doesn't, it's still free, unlike Final Fantasy VII. Which sucks.

SO GO SUCK AN EGG, YU-GI-OH PLAYERS.

Everything will be back to normal next Saturday.

Dungeons and Dragons Magic Item Compendium

just what dungeons and dragons needed - more lists of items

$39.95

There is no way I can talk about a Dungeons and Dragons product filled with magic items without being an incredible ass, so here's the blurb from Wizards of the Coast:

This supplement for the Dungeons & Dragons game presents over 500 new magic items, including affordable items that no adventurer should be without, as well as more than 750 of the best magic items from previously published D&D game supplements and campaign settings, Dragon magazine articles, and articles posted on the Wizards of the Coast website.

Each magic item is presented and catalogued in a new, easy-to-reference format that includes a read-aloud text description of the item.

Sounds acceptable to me!

Wolverine: Weapon X Premiere HC

$19.99

Here's what Internet has to say about this hardcover:

Wolverine's a lot of things to a lot of people, but to one infamous enclave he was nothing but a weapon. And weapons kill people. They found that out well enough. Find out for yourself in this prequel to recent revelations of the murderous mysteries that have mesmerized our favorite mutant! Collecting MARVEL COMICS PRESENTS #72-84.

This origin is not quite as cool as his original intended origin, an actual wolverine that was evolved into a human by the High Evolutionary. For real, check it out on Wikipedia.

Intruders: Encounters with the Abyss

this just makes me want to say WARNING INTRUDER ALERT over and over again so there's that I guess

$31.99

Finally, the book is coming out that expands on what I thought was one of the coolest parts of the new Mage: the Abyss. What's cooler than an unknowable Lovecraftian force that slowly eats its way into reality every time a Mage casts a spell? I can't think of anything. Here's what the book features, according to White Wolf:

* More than 20 strange Abyssal entities and phenomena, including rules on how they enter the Fallen World, their goals and how to send them back into the void.
* Ample story seeds and advice for using the creatures presented herein.
* Speculation on the nature of the Abyss, including its effects on the physical world, Twilight, Shadow and the Astral planes.

Sweet.

Galactus Galagala T-Shirt

dammit hipsters stop ruining clothes that I might actually buy

S-XL: $16.99
XXL: $19.99

Well, there's a t-shirt. In case you can't tell, that's a picture of Galactus on a T-Shirt. The reason you wouldn't be able to tell would probably be that, for whatever reason, they decided to produce these t-shirts pre-worn. I'm not sure who it is who buys this pre-faded stuff, but I'm going to say it's hipsters. So here's an open message to you, hipsters: damage your own clothes on your own time. We normal people can't un-damage a shirt, and I'm sick of seeing a shirt I might like ruined by the fact that somebody doesn't have enough time on their hands to run over a hat with a car until it looks sufficiently damaged.

Elseworlds Series 3 Action Figures

$19.99 Each
(Click Image for a Larger View)

All of your favorite DC characters re-imagined through a looking glass darkly...on crack! Sorry. That was uncalled for. Anyway, this series includes Green Lantern from the Red Son graphic novel, Aquaman and Nightstar from Kingdom Come, and Elseworld's Finest Supergirl and Batgirl! Think of all the adventures they can have before they are unnecessarily integrated into the main DC continuity because Alex Ross just doesn't know how to let things go!

Sorry, didn't mean to editorialize.

Dark Angels Veteran Squad

this is just one of many different models you could make

$22.00

Company Veteran Squads represent the finest warriors the company is able to field, gathered together in a single squad and deployed wherever the fighting is thickest. Each veteran has access to a range of equipment, inherited from former squad members or gifted to him in recognition of his great deeds.

You may include a Company Veteran Squad in your Dark Angels army as an Elites choice.

This boxed set contains enough plastic components to assemble five (5) Dark Angels Veterans.

ARE YOU READY TO ROCK to bands you have not heard of

Check out information on the upcoming WE Fest XI at their official website! You can listen to bands and other music at WE Fest's myspace page!

Fanboy is also going to be working with WE Fest to spotlight independent and local comics, with more information coming soon!

yeah I've run out of ideas for the title so I just kind of strung together a word association and the message of the flyer

Here are just a few of the many great items we have available on E-bay! We start new auctions every Monday at 6:00 PM that last through Saturday at 6:00 PM. Local customers can bid and pick up their purchase at the store to save on shipping! We also add new items to our E-bay Store every Wednesday and Thursday. We currently have over 1000 items, including pulps, vintage paperbacks, handbills, comics, and more!

Lot of Red Sonja Variant Covers

This auction contains a lot of 6 of the Red Sonja variant covers comics with Certificates of Authenticity.

* #2 is a DF exclusive alternate variant silver foil edition. As one of limited series of 599 copies with Certificates of Authenticity. It's sealed in a bag with DF sticker, never opened. It's in (VF+/NM) condition.
* #3 is a DF rare mel rubi foil edition as one of limited series of 650 copies with COA. It's sealed in bag with DF Sticker, never opened. It's in (VF+/NM) condition.
* #4 is in incentive red foil variant. It's in (VF+/NM) condition.
* #15 features an incentive MCNIVEN black and white variant cover and is in (VF+/NM) condition.
* #15 features an incentive variant MCNiven negative cover. it's in (VF+/NM) condition.
* #16 features an incentive black and white variant cover. It's in (VF+/NM) condition.

Lot of 10 Carter Brown Novels

This auction contains a lot of 10 Carter Brown paperbacks, published by Signet:

* Donavan's Day (Y6716), published in 1975, 1st printing. (VG+) condition.
* Sex Trap (Q6515), published in 1975, 1st printing. (VG) condition.
* Wheeler, Dealer! (Y6646), published in 1975, 1st printing. (VG-) condition.
* Chinese Donavan (Y7122), published in 1976, 1st printing. (VG) condition.
* Until Temptation do Us Part (Y6840), published in 1967, 1st printing. (VG+) condition.
* So Move the Body (T5704)., published in 1973, 1st printing. (VG) condition.
* The Coffin Bird (P4394), published in 1970, 1st printing. (VG) condition.
* The Corpse (Q6468), published in 1958. (VG+) condition.
* The Brazen (P4298), published in 1960, 3rd printing. (VG) condition.
* The Black Lace Hangover (D2945), published in 1966, 1st printing. (VG-) condition. Book store stamp on interior page.

Overall, books with high eye appeal. Don't miss out on these hard-to-find items.

I TIRE OF THIS NONSENSE.

Modern Age Comics: Wolverine Saga Book 1-4; Wolverine (1988 Series) #1-10, 14, 17 18, 23, 27, 41-45; X-Force #44-115; X-Factor #112-150; X-Men #5-75; Uncanny X-Men #167, 173, 208, 209, 227, 272, 266 (First Appearance of Gambit), 274, 276, 283, 294-305, 322-347, 348-393; Batman #426-429 (Death in the Family, #428: Death of Robin); Miracleman #3-7 (Eclipse); Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars #8 (First Appearance Black Costume Explained as Alien, First Appearance Venom as Alien Costume); Punisher #1-5 (1986 Limited Series); Alpha Flight #1, 12-17, 31-34, 52-33, 75, 87-90, 96-98; Aliens #3-4 (1988 Dark Horse); Aliens vs. Predator #0-3; Amazing Spider-Man #309-313, 326-333, 340-351; Batman #405-406 (Year One), 431, 422-440, 450; Captain America #334, 350, 373-384; Classic X-Men #8-16, 46; Cloak and Dagger #1, 2, 5; Daredevil #180, 197, 212, 215, 220, 221, 227, 236, 241, 242, 248, 249, 252, 253, 281-284, 292-296; Dark Horse Presents #34-36; Demon #1-3, 12-14; Fantastic Four #337-350; Ghost Rider (1970s) #64, 72, 73; Ghost Rider (1990s) #2-16; G.I. Joe (Marvel) #26, 35-62, 94, 97, 98, 100, 103, 104; Green Arrow (Mike Grell Era) #1, 2, 35, 36; Groo (Marvel) #3, 8-11, 24, 26, 28, 33, 45, 56, 59, 65-69; The Incredible Hulk #347-351, 359, 369-375, 379-381, 383, 384; Hulk/Wolverine (Reprints Hulk #181); Iron Man #256-260; Lgion of Super-Heroes #1-3 (3rd Series); Moon Knight (First Series) #1-2; Moon Knight (Second Series) #1-3, 5; Moon Knight: Marc Spector #1-21; New Mutants #59-61, 88; New Warriors #1-6, 9, 11-14

New Comic Sets: Amazing Spider-Man #334-339 (Return of the Sinister Six Parts 1-6), Batman #433-435 (The Many Deaths of Batman Parts 1-3), Black Panther #1-4 (Limited Series), Damage Control #1-4 (Limited Series), Aliens: Stranglehold #1-4 (Limited Series), Aliens: Earth War #1-4 (Limited Series), G.I. Joe vs. Transformers #1-4 (Marvel, Series One), Green Arrow: The Longbow Hunters #1-3 (Limited Series), Hawkworld #1-3 (Limited Series), Havok/Wolverine: Meltdown #1-4 (Miniseries), Deathlok #1-4 (Miniseries), Batman #436-439 (Year Three Parts 1-4), Punisher #1-5 (1986 Limited Series), Guardians of the Galaxy #1-6, Hawk and Dove #1-5, Green Lantern #1-5, Green Lantern: Emerald Dawn II #1-6, Fantastic Four #347-349 (That Insane Blatant Money Ploy Fantastic Four Featuring Wolverine, Spider-Man, Hulk, and Ghost Rider), Darkhawk #1-6, Deadly Foes of Spider-Man #1-4, Batman: The Cult #1-4, Nick Fury: Agent of Shield #1-11

What is included in this mysterious category of "other things"? Why, Used Trade Paperbacks, Silver Age Comics (Stuff published on or before 1977), Old Records, Old Pulps, and Yu-Gi-Oh and Magic: The Gathering Cards. Give us a call at (910) 452-7828 to set up an appointment!

As usual, a great many comic books have been pushed back to a later date. This news is so shocking that we are now developing a weekly section where we announce comic delays, so you can better know when your favorite books are coming out. Or when the next delay announcement will be, whatever. We'll also include other schedule announcements, like different products coming back in stock, second printings, and the like. But this is the comic industry, and we all know which type of announcment we will see the most.

Changed Release Dates

American Virgin #13 - 4/4/07
Justice League of America #7 - 4/4/07
Supergirl and the Legion of Super Heroes #28 - 4/4/07
Trials of SHAZAM #6 - 4/4/07
Exterminators #16 - 4/11/07
Manhunter #30 - 4/11/07
Justice League of America #8 - 4/18/07
Powers Vol. 10 TP - 4/11/07
White Tiger #5 - 4/11/07
Eternals HC - 4/25/07
Runaways Vol. 3 HC - 4/25/07
Powers Definitive Collection Vol. 2 HC - 5/2/07
Ultimates 2 #13 - 5/2/07
White Tiger #6 - 5/9/07
Kabuki #9 - 5/16/07

what a deal

war

obodu

iron man is sad (frowny face)

Civil War: The Confession

Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Alex Maleev
Colorist: Jose Villarrubia
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Price: $2.99

Civil War still ain't over. It may never be over as long as the sales are up. And it probably means nothing, but I like how Marvel numbers these one-shots as #1, as if the chance of becoming big-time sellers means these one-shots could be turned into series. They've saved one of the best one-shots for the end, furthering the discussion of Captain America's death. The title of this issue should be a hint as to what to expect: lots of talking. With the dust settled, Brian Michael Bendis lays out an Iron Man monologue about how (and why) it all went down. For those who have been griping about the events in Civil War being anti-climatic, anachronistic and out of character-well, Bendis brings about a bit of the ol' redemption.

"The Avengers avenge, the X-Men defend, the Fantastic Four explore. But we all fight." Tony Stark delivers this line during a long, uninterrupted explanation of how Civil War came about. He explains, grieving and unmasked, as to how he saw the fighting and major battles during another fight from the past with Doctor Doom. Conveniently enough, it turns out that Stark, by virtue of his genius powers of invention, has the ability to see the future-what'll be demanded of the times, how heroes will respond. While he had foreseen a battle between heroes, he waited to see what preempted the fist-slinging. When the notion of the registration act came about, Stark immediately knew that it was only the first salvo in the coming battle.

Civil War: The Confession is a document of regret and gut-wrenching hindsight. Kudos to Bendis for crafting a superhero book with absolutely no action and managing a compelling, necessary read. This is the explanation we've all been waiting for, the answers that begin to explain the war. While Mark Millar's writing on Civil War came across as inorganic, forced and mismanaged, Bendis' Confession bares the emotion of the outcome by offering the reader a scene from before Captain America's death and the immediate aftermath.

This is a cared-for document, one that seems to redeem Tony Stark and address questions that may have developed due to events in Civil War. Even if this was an afterthought one-shot envisioned for tying up the mega-miniseries, it succeeds because it's true to character. Bendis' style is right at home in these pages, and one can imagine Civil War more in his grasp.

Alex Maleev has shed some of his trademark grainy art style for a cleaner, more emotional effect. While the explanations provided in this book come across as all too opportune and pat, it's this book that puts Civil War to bed, until the follow-up mini.

RATING: 3.5/5

thanks to joss whedon for making this comic essentially unreadable if you haven't watched buffy

Buffy: The Vampire Slayer #1

Writer: Joss Whedon
Penciler: Georges Jeanty
Inker: Andy Owens
Colorist: Dave Stewart
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics
Price: $2.99

I have never watched a single episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. No, not even the musical show. In fact, much of my understanding of the character comes from the movie starting Kristy Swanson, Luke Perry and a career-rebounding Paul "Pee-Wee Herman" Reubens. So why have I read the first issue of Buffy season eight? Why the interest in what will enter the Buffy canon as the definitive end to the series? Simple answer: I was asked to review the book. My knowledge is lacking and interest barely registers. (I also welcome the snickering due to my rudimentary understanding of the characters and storyline.) But for Runaways fans, this book is significant because it'll let us know if Joss Whedon will easily transition back into writing smart, witty teenage characters with a dark side.

Whedon absolutely gets it. Admittedly, if you've got nothing invested in the Buffyverse, then you'll never grab this book. But for the show's fans, this book promises action, humor, nuance through an expanded lens that spreads far past the narrow confines of television screens (and budgets). Whedon brings an older, matured Buffy into a strong leader still stifled by sibling rivalry and a decimated Sunnydale.

There are now 1800 slayers the world over and separate hunter squads all over the globe. Buffy's team is directed by an eye-patched Xander, and he leads her directly into a church fight with some nasty ghouls. This A-plot leads into the continuing story, one that connects this battle with what occurred back home. Buffy's sister, Dawn, wants nothing to do with Buffy and has grown into a giant (I have no idea why). Dawn will only talk to old-friend Willow, which plagues Buffy.

The larger conspiracy will undoubtedly be familiar to show's fans, so far be it for me to continue divulging story points. Whedon carefully juggles all the beats and the issue moves along at a brisk pace. A lot goes on in these pages, but the focus is pointed and narrow without sacrificing any of the story beats. His dialogue crackles and his characters are at ease. If the show was like this book, then it's easy to see the appeal.

George Jeanty's artwork is gifted with a wonderful scale. The book looks like a traditional "big two" comic, with hefty action, quasi-techno uniforms, and little visual queues and hints along the way. The two-page crater shot is especially effective. Andy Owen's inks and Dave Stewart's colors fill out the job with a sense of frivolity.

Buffy fans should be quite pleased with this book, and Runaways fans should be prepared for an excellent run on the series courtesy of Joss Whedon.

RATING: 4/5

man bryan you sure talk a lot of crap about sky high for not having seen it

Grounded Vol. 1 TP

Writer: Mark Sable
Artist: Paul Azaceta
Colorist: Nick Filardi
Publisher: Image Comics
Price: $14.99

A look at the LCS shelves of late offers lots of revisionist super-powered storytelling. We're in a period where stories are being written that riff on familiar archetypes while adding new and fresh wrinkles to the mix. Of course, there's nothing new about this; Marvel and DC heroes have been deconstructed for decades. While the X-Men have done it best, one of the most overused storylines finds superpowered kids in a high school intended to wrangle their evolved abilities. The 2005 Disney film Sky High may have proved that the superhero high school stories have officially jumped the shark.

It's unfortunate that that film had been released so close to the publication of Grounded. The basic plots are analogous; thankfully, that's where the similarities cease. I haven't seen Sky High, but I can't imagine that the movie is as nuanced, witty, complex and truthful as this comic series. The tag line of Grounded explains a lot: "The good news: superheroes are real. The bad news: you're not one of them." Our protagonist, the plucky Jonathan, grows up a die-hard comic reader. He bought into that world so fully that he was convinced his own powers would soon materialize. But he couldn't run faster than an elevated train. Microwaving a spider didn't make it radioactive. His mental abilities were too capable for "The School for Special Youngsters." The kid couldn't get a break.

A series of events leads Jonathan to discover that his father is actually the hero he reads about in his comics, a secret that had been kept from Jonathan throughout his childhood. A significant decision from Jonathan's childhood ties into the revelation which then leads to a whole host of daddy issues. With the discovery of his father's secret identity, Jonathan is whisked from his public school to "The High," a school reserved for powered kids.

Even thought Jonathan has quite a pedigree, he still hasn't received any genetic gifts. He must rely on his wits to out maneuver superpowered school bullies and the faculty made up of ex-heroes and reformed villains. Sure enough, a conspiracy follows Jonathan to the school, one which he takes the lead in solving, a decision that leads to the subjugation of authority and further revelations about the nature of heroism and villainy.

Even a detailed synopsis of the plotline makes Grounded sound stranded with a paper-thin premise. However, writer Mark Sable manages to breathe more true-to-life teenaged angst into the story than you'll find in any similar-themed title. Depression, anxiety, eating disorders, aggression-there's much to identify with throughout. Once past the familiar archetypes, both heroes and villains become singular inventions and the tension of the story becomes palpable. A big story has been squeezed into these pages, and the decompression techniques reveal that heavy editing has limited the easy flow of the story. Much is asked of the reader to make connections and associations, and even a solid effort from the reader may still lead to some confusion. For most of the volume, however, the extra work pays off. But the seams do show from time to time.

Artist Paul Azaceta's style is stripped down and comes alive through intense colors provided by Nick Filardi. Azaceta's action scenes are exciting, and his interpretation of the students' powers is refreshing, specifically with characters the Bully (a Minotaur crossbreed) and Waterboy (an amorphic puddle). There's another fascinating character, Desire, who appears as the person you most desire in the world, but has no sense of what he (or she) truly looks like. Both Sable and Azaceta bring a new interpretation to notions of self worth.

In a meta-fictive move, comic books play an integral part to the story. (In the high school, comics are treated as real history books, the library loaded with long boxes.) Azaceta chooses a Golden Age-style for these comic pages, and the effect is dreamy and nostalgic.

Grounded, for its limited flaws, deserves credit for taking a well-trodden story conceit and turning it on its head while introducing fascinating new avenues. Hopefully, the trade sells well enough to encourage Image Comics to bring Grounded back for another limited series. The teenage heroes deserve a chance to save more than their school, and Jonathan has earned another opportunity to use is brain in place of other genetic gifts.

RATING: 4/5

i'm the best at what i do and what i do is rip off wolverine and batman

Grifter/Midnigher #1

Writer: Chuck Dixon
Penciler: Ryan Benjamin
Inker: Saleem Crawford
Colorists: Joel Benjamin and Randy Mayor
Publisher: DC Comics/Wildstorm
Price: $2.99

Wildstorm fans rejoice! It's a team-up between the two greatest heroes in the Wildstorm universe. Actually, on second thought, hold off on that rejoicing for a bit. Grifter/Midnighter predictably features Grifter (from Wildcats fame), and Midnighter (from The Authority).

The premise for this new miniseries is simple: Two of the most popular Wildstorm heroes team up to save to save the world from something. Problem is, you don't find out what exactly that "something" is. In fact they don't even actually team up (or even meet each other for that matter) in this issue. To be honest, not much of anything happens in this issue. Seriously. The issue is divided into two sections. The first section deals with Midnighter, who is apparently recovering from a traumatic psychological experiment that was recently performed on him. His team rescues him from the facility where he was held, but he continues to have disturbing hallucinations, which causes him to be cross with his teammates. In the second half of the issue, Grifter assists two agents in preventing a suicide-bombing, broods, gives them both a hands-on demonstration of the brutal nature of his power, and then broods some more. Oh yeah, did I mention that he broods?

In last weeks newsletter, Cyrus joked about how cliché the plot of this book sounds. Well, looks like the joke's on him! Turns out Chuck Dixon employed the state-of-the-art literary technique of having almost no plot at all. It seems as though he's trying to thoroughly introduce the characters, which I don't have a problem with per se, but when you've only got six issues to tell a major story, it seems like a waste to dedicate an entire issue to introduce the personalities of two characters who 95 percent of the target audience are already intimately familiar with.

So, the only real flaw here is the lackluster plot. Everything else seems to be in order. The dialouge is sharp and realistic. Ryan Benjamin does an exceptional job with the art, adding detail and definition to every page of the book. Unfortunately, no matter how gorgeous a book is, if it does go anywhere with its story, it isn't that great. It could turn out that Dixon has big plans for the series, and really pulls it together the next few issues, and makes me eat my words here. In fact, I really hope he does because the series still has potential.

Wildstorm fans have probably already bought this issue, or are going to do so regardless of what I say here, which is fine, because devout WS fans will probably still get a kick out of it. Everyone else would be better to start off actually reading The Authority and Wildcats, because there's no point in reading a blatant fan service if you're not even a fan yet. -Fan-Favorite Reviewer Tristan Hoagland is composed of an amorpous blob composed of iodine and calcium, which makes him understandably bitter.

RATING: 3/5

oh boo hoo tristan I had to do an hour of research just to select this issue for you to review (this may be a lie)

BPRD: The Garden of Souls #1

Writers: Mike Mignola and John Arcudi
Penciler: Guy Davis
Colorist: Dave Stewart
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics
Price: $2.99

It never ceases to piss me off when I read a comic, and then have to do half and hour of research just to be able to review it. I had to this because after finishing this book, I had no idea what was going on. You see, I've never read B.P.R.D. before. No problem, this is issue number one of a miniseries, so it should be easy to get into, right? Of course not, you idiot. The numerous context clues alluding towards my initial confusion and the subtle, sarcastic tone used in the previous sentence implies exactly the opposite. Well anyway, this isn't really a "first issue." Where normal comic books have story arcs every five or six issues, B.P.R.D. Simply starts a new miniseries. The end result is about five of these miniseries and a slew of one-shots that read more like an ongoing series, and #1 issues that are even less accessible than "new arc" issues in series that have been around for decades.

Regardless of its inaccessibility, the plot is still very intriguing. I'll sum it up here using very brief snippets, as a detailed synopsis would be lost on a new reader anyway. It begins by briefly exploring Abe's past as a wealthy socialite. Then jumps to the future where he and Liz are standing at someone's grave (I assume he was of significance in an earlier miniseries). Meanwhile Captain Daimio experiments with Eastern medicine, and has a horrifying vision involving a monkey with the face of a human baby. A large robot feeds what appears to be a monkey crossed with a tiger, and Abe returns to the headquarters to find that he's received a package in the mail.

All of this sounds absurd, but I'm guessing it's a little less absurd if you've been reading B.P.R.D all along. Even though I myself am a newcomer to the B.P.R.D, and understood almost nothing about what was going on, it was still so damn interesting, that I'm strangely compelled to go back and buy the trades just so I can find out what the hell's going on. The art here is no different than the rest of the Hellboy/B.P.R.D. Books that have come out over the years. Guy Davis keeps his artwork loose and sketchy, which is good for a horror/suspense book; it adds to the ambiance. For Mignola/Hellboy fans, it's a must have. Newcomers will probably want to check out some of the earlier issues and trades. I whole heartedly recommend both courses of action. -Reviewer Tristan Hoagland utilizes a strange combination of magic and cartography to map the course of the world's future from his secret underground lair in Dimension Zero.

RATING: 4/5

Newsletter for March 20, 2007

a heartwarming tribute

Well, it’s been two weeks, and Captain America is still dead, defying all expectations. It might really be time to accept that the great Steve Rogers has passed on. As a nation, we must deal with this loss and face the five stages of grief which are, according to Marvel Comics:

Wolverine
Avengers
Captain America
Spider-Man
Iron Man

Strangely enough, I don’t see “Making Tribute Websites” on that list. Which means it is entirely possible that I have discovered a new, heretofore undocumented stage of grief, because that’s exactly what I did.

NEW RELEASES